10th of October was World Mental Health Day and although I’m always late to the party, I think it’s because mental health is always on my mind.

From my own experiences, my mental health has been most affected by the workplace and in particular because of people. My first year in the NHS, I remember loving every second of it no matter how hard it was. I was a 20yr old university student with no prior experience working in healthcare and there I was, the only Assistant Psychologist supporting the only Consultant Psychologist for a busy community addictions service in a fairly dodgy part of London. It was a whirlwind but one I welcomed with both arms and despite a few very tough moments, and working with a few clients that no amount of time can erase from my memory, I was very happy at work. The most bonkers part of it is that I wasn’t paid a penny to be there. I worked full time, voluntarily, for an entire year just to get my foot in the door. In contrast, I have been in jobs more recently that have been equally trying, yet paid more than I imagined I would achieve at that stage, and I was so unhappy.

So it makes you wonder what the difference is exactly. And the answer was very simple; it’s the people that make the difference. To this day, I refer to that first team I worked with as my NHS family. I knew I wasn’t alone in the hard times, I had people backing me 100%, and there was a genuine care between us that made the worst of times somehow bearable.

And so when I met with a client recently and work challenges came up, out came these very words; “you can stay in rubbish jobs because of great people. But many will leave great jobs because of rubbish people.” The penny dropped.

To date, every unplanned exit from a job of mine has been because of a person or people making my job miserable. No matter how much I loved a job or felt I could really have a career in that particular specialty, if someone (and particularly managers) made it unmanageable, I felt I had no other choice than to walk away.

Luckily, I’ve always been able to find a way forward and progress but I know this isn’t the case for everyone. Many can feel stuck, afraid to leave the known for the unknown, or simply haven’t been empowered or equipped to take hold of the future they want.

If this is resonating then here are some of the things that help me:

• Reflect - are there grounds for the way you are being treated and is there anything you can do to improve the situation?
• Set timelines - how long it goes on before you try and address it, and how long before you need to leave (it’s not worth putting your health or wellbeing at serious risk for a job)
• Get clued up - know your rights as an employee, review policies so you know if things are happening as they should, and don’t be afraid to fight your corner
• Calm & collected - no matter how difficult things get, try and stay calm and respond professionally and politely. It will be hard but you’ll be able to hold your head up high no matter the outcome.
• Know your worth - there is a big difference between constructive criticism and tearing a person down. Take caution not to let the workplace diminish your self-worth.
• When to walk away - only you can know when you’ve reached this point but if it’s a possibility then start mapping out exit routes as options. The last thing you want is to feel desperately unhappy in a job and jump ship to something even worse because that’s the only choice you have.
• Support - lean on your network for advice, to get an outside opinion, and perhaps even help write your next job application. I remember one weekend where a great friend spent the whole weekend helping me write applications because I’d hit my limit and had no confidence in selling myself. The result? We wrote a brilliant set of applications that got me several interviews and a new job!

If you or someone you know are struggling with your mental health, reach out to whoever you feel most comfortable to speak to and ask for help. If you do what I do, scrolling endlessly through your phonebook worrying about burdening someone you care about, try to squash that thought if you can. Otherwise there are lots of helpful numbers you can call:

• Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email [email protected] or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).
• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (6pm to midnight every day).
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.
• Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.
• Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (24 hours, 7 days a week), email [email protected] or text 07786 209 697.
• Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
• Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email [email protected] or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.