How to become the very best you can be during these times where heroes are needed

We have a standing joke in my house during this lockdown period, whereby there was a news article talking about how the Police will allow people outside that are either exercising or shopping for necessary items, will now also allow people that have had an argument with their partners to also be outside. So whenever I annoy my wife or she annoys me we both tell the other to go outside and speak with a police officer to alleviate the situation and make light of it. 

There is however an underlying point here to possibly focus on and that is, we are mostly all affected by this situation whether we are working from home or simply having to stay at home to protect the NHS and others. Therefore many of us have not had this much ‘spare’ time for themselves and probably have never spent so much time together under the same roof day in and day out. 

There will be times then where one or the other of you will annoy the other. Is your partner nagging at you for whatever reason? 

If so you’ll probably react like most of us which is to be annoyed by this nagging but have you ever taken time out to think about what it is your partner is complaining about? Are they in some way correct in their thoughts? Is there something more you could do for not only your partner but for yourself?

The first step to changing any bad habit is to acknowledge it exists and the second is to want to change it. 

You may be the type that is happy with the way things are and think there is nothing to change about yourself and think that everyone else needs to change. We’ll all I can say to that is good luck. We all know of that one person who cannot see within themselves their own failings but love to point out others. Do you want to be that guy?

No I didn’t think so. 

So we go back to what is it your partner may complain about? Is this something that you can change within yourself?

If you decide to have great humility and realise that you are not perfect and that you can actually improve and become a better human being the next step is to overcome the inertia of yourself. You are the way you are because of repetition which lead to habits and then become your personality so to overcome this is very hard as is why there are thousands of books and articles written about it. So here are some steps;

Step 1. Self awareness. Knowing yourself and knowing what you are doing is vital and probably the most important step, without this you will simply not change yourself.

Step 2. Setting up a routine that stops you or at least makes it harder from repeating your bad habit. Make the habit extra hard to be able to repeat. A typical example is if you have a sweet tooth and you want to diet simply don’t have sweet nutrient-dense foods in the house, change them with healthier alternatives such as fruit or protein shakes. But this isn’t about a simple diet, this is about changing a habit. 

Step 3. Ensure you acknowledge your little wins. Multiple studies show that by simply ticking off a checklist not only makes it easier for you to see your progress but it also plays a part in the reward area of your brain similar to sugar and addictive illegal drugs. Be aware however to ensure if your habit is a huge part of your life and something you have done for years then you’ll need to break down the total habit into bite-size smaller goals so as to achieve your little wins. 

Step 4. And probably the hardest step when changing or breaking your habit and that remains accountable. What does this mean it means letting other people know what you are aiming for and giving them permission to follow up with you to check your progress which is like I said difficult but also an ideal time to achieve success is now while you are stuck in the same household with your family. Ooh, giving your partner that much power? Ok, we’ll lighten things up and turn it into a game. Challenge others in your household with a change in habit of their own. But make sure the ‘bet’ is worthwhile and not to simple to just forget about. This is your time to make not only the most from the situation but also from yourself. Don’t let it pass you by and remain mediocre. 

Just as a personal disclosure this is exactly what I am doing during this lockdown. My wife had a little discussion with me about my certain faults that she would like me to improve on. How could she when I’m almost perfect. I won’t go into to much detail but I had to admit this ‘habit’ of mine I knew was there and I also knew that I should do something about it and fortunately my wife gave me the kick up the proverbial arse and so I have to follow through on my promise to ensure I change this certain feature of my personality. It won’t be easy but then nothing worthwhile is and I know I will falter but that’s where the accountability comes in and my wife can (and no doubt will) point out that I have faltered to get me back on track. 

Oh and just in case you’re wondering, yes, of course, my wife has a habit that she has to change as well, fairs only fair.